Kimahri's super fun Blitzball adventure!
by Silver Neko
Summary: Kimahri tells the tale of being forced onto a Blitzball team under threat of DOOM!


~Whoo. Look at THIS! I was suddenly over come to play Blitzball for the first time in months because I watched "Baseket Ball" and was filled with a MIGHTY NEED to play Blitzball. My brother, Mr. Pink, then felt compelled to write this fic. All I did was fix the MASSIVE spelling errors in dis ficcy. Sorry I have been neglecting everything of mine on this site, but since Kimahri says got deleted along with my reviews, I've been lazy in re-uploading it and typing new chaps for all my fics. I also feel unloved and neglected. Please feed me! Oh yeah, I also just got my copy of the Kingdom Hearts soundtrack and it eez da poop. I made the amazing discovery that if you listen to "Under the Sea" while playing Blitzball, you will be mightily amused.~Silver Neko, no love for her.   
  
Kimahri's Guide to game with ball and the uh.... the swim with the hurt with the blond boy from 1000 years ago.   
  
"Kimahri wants to write this the best Kimahri can but Kimahri's head hurt and is all puffy like muffin. Mmmmm..... Kimahri wishes Kimahri could eat solid food but Kimahri can't because Kimahri has teeth like a pirate. They are all holey and black with pain. All the pain started with a few words said by little evil Blond boy: "Catch Kimahri!"   
  
After that, every day of Kimahri's sad life has been filled to the brim with pain.   
Blond boy from 1000 years ago then said, "Kimahri you will play ball game or no special treats". Well under the circumstances, Kimahri needs Kimahri's special treats for they bring Kimahri 25 chews of happiness. Oh, its like a party and everyone is hitting a Piñata leaking joy in Kimahri's mouth. Anyway, Kimahri said ok. It was like Kimahri had signed Kimahri's soul to the Devil for a shiny button but then walked across the street and got hit by a bus full of Nuns.   
  
First practice Kimahri say, "WATER. No. Kimahri will melt. Let Kimahri be ball holder outside." Then big smelly Man with odd hair (Whom Kimahri has only now learned am named Wakka) with horrible, horrible Blonde Boy tie Kimahri to ball and throw Kimahri into water where they then discover Kimahri couldn't swim and watched Kimahri pass out like small hyper boy at country fair gates.   
  
Day two was better for Kimahri. Team sat around and med-e-tat-ed but Kimahri watched the little Butterfly fly daintily across the sky....teehee. Then big Wakka SMASH WITH BIG FIST! Kimahri said "NOOO!" but Wakka just laugh and laugh at little Butterfly's mangled corpse. Then Kimahri KICK WAKKA in no-no place and Wakka fall to ground like 16 pound bowling ball. Kimahri just laughed and laughed while Wakka cried wiggled on ground like small helpless little bunny he is.   
  
Day three Kimahri meet whole team. Umm... Kimahri not good with names so he named them a-ch-or-ding to what they look like:   
  
Blond Boy  
Grumpy  
Happy  
Dopey  
Zev Ronso(That his real name)  
Stinky  
Wakka  
Fatty, and Homo-cidal-ey.   
  
Time for big game. Kimahri as giddy as a school girl and as "Teehee!". Kimahri is also as scared as an old man in monkey section of zoo. "NO, MY HEART!"   
  
Game starts with the ball in da middle and it gets flung into the air right at your face.   
  
"BOP"   
  
Kimahri was passed out but then awoke to the horrible pain Kimahri felt when little blond boy attempted the "Hit people in gut then spin in the air shot". Kimahri in total broke 3 ribs, bent tail and broke what little nose Kimahri had at end of game. But not until the end did Kimahri catch ball.   
  
"YAY!" Kimahri says until am tackled by guy with mask and odd shaped head. Ohhhh such pain Kimahri feels. Swimming was poopy. Game is poopy. Kimahri's pants are poopy. Wakka rejoices in win even though he is fat and slow like bunny.   
  
Pain, Kimahri's one weakness. Kimahri's head feel like old mans that live next to rambunctious teenagers that play t-ech-no moozic all the time. Sound like do...do do...DUN DUN do DUN DUN do DUN DUB DUNNNN! DAMN YOU TEENAGERS! KIMAHRI KILL YOU! KIMAHRI KILL YOU GOOD LIKE SMALL MAN VS FRONT OF BUS! Anyway, Kimahri go home after game and bathed in anti-bacterial which burns like the fiery fire furnace of hell. Kimahri play sad song to wallow in own self pity "Its been awhile since I could stand on my own two feet again". Ah..... moozic make Kimahri giddy with depression.   
  
But then stoopid Wakka with stoopid team burst into Kimahri's hut with al-ke-hol and scream PHATAY! Kimahri scream with angst as they play techno moozic...do...do do... DUN DUN do DUN DUN do DUN DUB DUNNN! DAMN YOU WAKKA YOU NO KORRECT ENGRISH MUST KICK! AAAAHHH! Then Kimahri KICK (with emphasis) Wakka in the NUT(The other one had not come back from wherever it was, for it was missing.) and laugh at Wakka, but he not move this time he just curl up in ball and make gurgling sound like goat.   
  
Game number two was better. Kimahri was filled with anger and shear hate for Wakka, for Wakka is still alive after 2 direct kicks in Nuts.   
  
Oooohhhh, Wakka good.   
  
As Kimahri walk toward arena, Wakka say "Lets play good eh?"   
Kimahri dissected this comment in brain. 1st, who says "EH"? What am Wakka? Wakka is Japanese, Jamaican Canadian who talks like Wakka from new jersey. Ooohhh, Kimahri's microwave warms with hate. 2nd, Wakka say comment in question form like team no goods enough to win. Kimahri's anger simmer like inside of breakfast burrito, so Kimahri KICK Wakka in the nuts. 1 from behind and 1 when Wakka is on ground. Kimahri then put Wakka's prone body in trashcan before team can notice. KIMAHRI FEELS SPECIAL!  
  
~Yes, I too am confused yet deeply amused by what you have just read. He's just making this up as we go along, yelling at me every 5 seconds to read what he's written. Zev Ronso is on MY team in my game. As I think you've noticed, me like Ronso very much. Hopefully when my brother gets over the outrage of me posting this story while he was in the shower(which he really is in right now) he will feel the mighty need to write more of Kimahri's adventures with moisture and sports. Whee!~Silver Neko, eat the godamn cake! 


End file.
